How many of us are shunned, put down, or shamed against our actions if we don’t divulge our feelings? Especially for us guys, we get called a “pussy” or “weak” if we need to cry, aren’t into cars or don’t drink beer. At the end of the day, it’s the complete opposite that will have us feeling worthy and not alone.

Holding onto emotional baggage can magnify over time. Wouldn’t you rather invest this wasted energy into bigger and better things? I would, that’s why I’m happy opening up about my adversarial experiences; not only does it take the weight off my shoulders, it may resonate with other people that are struggling with their own demons too. By revealing my own experience, I can become the catalyst for others, giving them a sense of permission to open up and speak out, and more importantly, move forward.



Believe it or not, it heals ourselves and allows others to do the same. If you pick up a bottle of water that weighs 300g it’s not a big deal, but when you continue to hold onto it for 24 hours then it’ll feel like 300kg even though it hasn’t changed in material properties over that time. Now, this analogy is applied over to our thoughts; our mind is like an attic meaning it can only hold so much and any irrelevant and burdened thoughts will magnify into a 300kg weight, with the ability to keep magnifying further. It’s incredibly liberating when you get something off your chest, an instant relief and room for better thoughts.

Opening up is never easy for the first time. It took me years to tell my story due to caring too much about what others thought of me. Now, I realise that we all have messed up pasts, I’m not the only who is going through with this so who is to judge?



Three practical ways to increase your receptive state - like anything new, this habit will be rusty at first.

  1. If you feel the need to cry or open up, do it as soon as you can as you can so it’s out of your system.

  2. Become more empathetic - listening to those and being on the same level will bring a stronger relationship helping all sides understand each other.

  3. Reach out if you’re battling depression, anxiety, PTSD, or any type of unbearable adversity. If you are afraid to open up to friends and family, contact this crisis support contact number 13 11 14 in Australia or CLICK HERE to find the crisis number depending what country you live in - they won’t shame you or your situation, it’s their job to understand!



You may have a messed up past or no self-belief right now but that’s okay, all the greats have gone through this period in the their lives at some stage throughout the journey. After researching and obsessively studying the stories that have stood the test of time, every single one of them have been through a trajectory of pain! Singlehandedly, how they differentiate from the rest of the crowd is their discipline to keep going when nobody's watching.

Below is a table of history’s well-known iconic and relentless humans in conjunction with the inner demons they battled and what greatness cultivated from the process:

Iconic greats explained by Tofe Evans

After reading this, you’ll notice there are two key lessons to be learnt here. One is to express vulnerability even if it may seem counter-intuitive. It can empower others (especially men) to have a sense of reassurance by not feeling alone and saying what’s on their mind. This will remove the 300kg weight that’s in their mind. And secondly, realise that every great story and icon has gone through a path of pain at some point in their life. It’s just part of the process.

Be sure to leave a comment on your two cents and if you're wanting to be a little more vulnerable but have noone to talk to, please email me on and I'll help you release that 300kg+ weight <3